


Uncrossed Stars

by StarryNight7



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Depression, Faded feelings, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Homophobia, I'm only adding sexual tags to get more attention, M/M, Not really but you get the idea, Poetry, Sexual Content, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, slightly poetic, therefore no smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4166670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNight7/pseuds/StarryNight7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles can't pinpoint the exact moment when his relationship with Louis Tomlinson faded eventually into nothingness neither can he swim out of the complicated knots his thoughts were tangling themselves into.... To make things worse, a mere decision of stating the obvious sets fire to those very tangles he was trying to smooth out and hush away.....<br/> <br/>You know what they say. Don't judge a book by it's summary<br/>My first work ever so please, bear with me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Not for the first time, he couldn’t comprehend alpha nor omega of what they were saying… 

Sat in a tight circle, they all kept their eyes glued to Richard Griffiths’ two sharp ones… Harry wondered whether the others’ minds were set to Richard’s mind, accordingly making mind-contact just as well as eye-contact.  
His own was doing a terrible one at it…

The fact that Richard always seemed to hate him only added to the support system behind Harry’s very exhausted and sleep-yearning mind…But that didn’t stop it from absorbing the words Richard kept shoving at him; the ones Harry always tried to duck by remaining dead to the present situation but as always, the world and reality tortured him….

Why was he dealing with this? It was the perfect question for the perfect situation..It was just his luck that the same question happened to be Harry’s signature mark… The rhetorical question that will remain rhetorical as much as time permits it, no doubt.

Harry would never understand how the world suddenly happened to enjoy betraying Harry it’s as much as possible since lately. Literally… 

He would never understand how his mind- which constantly remained on top of dainty, pearly white clouds for most of the part of Modest! meetings he endured on a daily basis- always manages to gear him back on track focus exactly when Richard starts his usual throwing-shades-at-Harry-process. He would never understand why his mind just can’t seem to block those very moments just as it blocks all other words that Richard comes up with until time takes mercy on Harry…

He would never understand why he wasn’t sure whether the boys minded this recurring process at all anymore when he was supposed to be positive about the fact that of course the boys minded. Of course they disapproved of it and of course they were mad at well, everyone to be honest, for throwing these uncalled for (why does Harry feel otherwise though?) comments at Harry….just because he preferred to let his heart and mind decide his soul’s navigation.. 

But of course, Harry wasn’t sure whether they even noticed anymore, save for the couple of worried glances Liam throws at him now and again.

He would never understand why his favourite hobby as a kid -reading- decided to betray him as well. It was hard for Harry to read nice thing these days and he didn’t care how irrational and nonsensical he sounded but reading has let harry down as well. Richard felt like a godly presence comparing to reading. There was nothing nice anywhere anymore… not on twitter, not on tumblr, not on his journal, not in songs, not in poems, not in life....nowhere.

If there was one thing Harry was sure of, growing up, it was that no matter what, words wont let him down…. Guess life time stands fail and betray as well don’ t they? 

It was hard to take it all in, how the entire world suddenly seemed to hate his very personal yet not-so-personal pints of oxygen he breathed to function…

“Would you please mind actually living for a change, Styles?”

Those were the words which adjourned the meeting. Of course they were.

Harry was the first to leave the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason why the entire world loves Ed....

**Trust….it used to bind us**  
**Tight and safe, with golden chains**  
**If they broke down, ******  
**Who swept off the dust? ******  
**Who got rid of the glints? ******  
**Who taught beauty to cry? ******  
**Who gave love broken wings? **  
**And let it fly to the dark night sky? **********

One might say they were used to this. But, alas, they weren’t. 

They weren’t used to feeling as if they were stuck in a vacuum despite the company of each other. No matter what the circumstance, if there was one thing they had mastered, it was entertaining each other to barricade whatever worry they had in mind.  


But it was impossible to do so when the one worry they had was probably heavier than the entire existence of all their minds put together….  


They were supposed to go home with the satisfaction of having lived by the terms of a productive day. But they were only able to product silence and worry until Jamie got the hint and called it a day after twenty minutes.  


Now they just stared into the borders of this non-prevailing vacuum as if they were trying to spot the smallest amount of air left to breath.  


The sharp melody of a ringing mobile phone shook the dense air, bringing them all back to the world outside of their small vacuum.  


“Hello?” Liam answered.  


“Hey.” The slightly scratched up voice of Ed Sheeran connected with Liam’s ear.  


“Hi Ed. What’s up?”  


“Why don’t you tell me that, Liam? Why don’t you tell me what’s up with him?”  


And they were gobbled up by the vacuum again.  


“This is the 3rd night this is happening. Why aren’t you doing something about it? Why is he here when he should be with you lot?”  


“I don’t know Ed…..I honestly have no idea” not to dramatize the situation, but Liam’s voice was a distant whisper he himself couldn’t hear.  


“I understand what he’s going through and of course he’s always welcome here. What I don’t understand is why no one else is bothered about this apart from me and my dog.”  


“Believe me when I say we are bothered Ed. Please don’t think we don’t care. We-”  


“Well, you have a very strange way of showing it”  


Liam sighed. That’s all he could come up with.  


“He’s just…. I don’t even think I know him anymore. You’ve got to do something about this, Payn. We can’t help the media and the backlashes but one might think that the world’s biggest band had some control over what they’re all mighty bosses were allowed to say to them. Honestly, man. This is just outrageous. And you are no better you know. Where would he be right now if it wasn’t for me?”  


Liam stayed silent. The vacuum bursting and showering him with shame and guilt.  


“Tell _him _to get his shit together mate. I don’t know what makes you, Niall and Zayn follow suite but you should seriously stop. He’s my mate and I care about him. Seeing him like this is just not…. it’s just….It should stop. You should stop…Goodnight.”  
__

Ed hung up and Liam looked up. Straight at Louis. And took a deep breath.  


“He’s right, you know. This is stupid. We should do something without acting as if we’re in a funeral and aren’t potentially able to do anything. He’s losing it and we’re helping nothing.”  


What little hope Liam had died down along with Louis’ incessant silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A penny for your thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Or if you want to talk to someone, I can promise you I can be a good friend!  
> kik- Tharustar  
> email- trishadee7@gmail.com

Harry was staring into nothingness and he had lost track of just how long.

It was an hour or so before they had to go onstage to prance and dance as their strings would be pulled by invisible forces Harry still struggled to identify each time he was reminded that that was what he really was; a puppet.  
But maybe being one wasn’t that bad because at the end of the day, performing onstage was actually the one thing he didn’t mind doing anymore. The rest of his daily routine required performing far too exhausting things for his liking such as talking, smiling, thinking, listening (or since lately, not listening) and probably the hardest of all: breathing.  
Now, Harry has always been an intellectually gifted person. He was intelligent and smart. And he knew it. If his long dead third grade teacher saw him where he was today, that was selling out stadiums and having achieved the state of being one of the most famous and successful musical acts of all time, she would probably ask him what went wrong. And Harry would explain and they would bond over a cup of tea which would be more expensive than an average pair of wellingtons and discuss what Harry could’ve really been. Maybe happy.  
The point was, Harry wasn’t dumb and he knew the recent turn of his train of thoughts probably required medical attention or at least a severe exposure to the prevailing poverty problems in the world in order to put them back on track positivity. But he had a feeling that the latter option might end up with him offering a random person in rags to swap lives with him and to be satisfied in a twisted way when the person would refuse.  
Harry wasn’t dumb and he knew that all the question marks in the world could be erased by the simple explanation of how this entire rollercoaster was maybe what they also called depression. But that would be the overstatement of the year considering the fact that that explanation would only multiply the haunting question marks by hundred.

Harry was just done.

He was done with all the back lash and hate he was getting from middle aged men who were probably teaching themselves how to use twitter while doing so, he was done with the realizations that kept punching his gut whenever life proved to him again and again that his best mates didn’t care, he was done with his management trying to make him feel as if he has committed all the crimes in the world by coming out as bisexual (which could also be called ‘stating the obvious’) , he was done with the hatred and frustration his former best friend keep stabbing him in the face with whenever he comes into his sight and mostly, he was just done feeling his heart physically swelling whenever he as much as thought about his said former best friend.  
So yes, Harry was done. He was with life and he had an uncanny feeling that the feeling was mutual. 

“10 more minutes, lads!”

Yes, life was definitely done with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a million if you're reading...Please don't be a silent reader though. Share your thoughts so we can have our own little tea party... xoxo


End file.
